Diatribe in progress. Will be finished soon. It promises to be exhilarating. In the meantime here is another tentative working title of one of our soon to be released books, “Put Down The Fork.” For more information on this and other books that are in the Seed Enterprises Book Hopper, just click on the link below the books cover. If you find that you are not actually reading this tasty juicy piece of Spam, then we think you may be some sort of 'Twisted Freak***. How can you possibly be reading something that is not actually here? Stop it! You are scaring us. May we suggest that you only read the material presented to you, as it is presented.
“Seed can you please cut our Blog readers some slack. They have taken the time to turn on their computers, made the effort to go to the Seed Enterprise website and have chosen, that’s right, chosen, to seek some of their daily dosage of entertainment from our written words. They don’t deserve to be called ‘Twisted Freaks’.” Friends, once again my dear friend, Voices In My Head, has informed me that berating the audience is not the best of marketing ploys. This one time I am going to listen to VIMH, and apologize for my insensitive ramblings above. Nevertheless, I have decided to leave the above opening in as part of this story, therefore, you did read it and we will never know for sure if any of you are actually ‘Twisted Freaks’ or not. Unless of course you are the type of ‘Freak’ that starts your reading with the 2nd paragraph. If that is the case there likely is no hope for you.
-----
-----
We invite you to visit The Seed Enterprise Book Mobile at:
We invite you to visit The Seed Enterprise Book Mobile at:
Whew!!!! My pen finger is a little tired now. Regardless of my finger exhaustion, I am going to fight threw the pain and deliver the promised piece of script titled Zero Calories. I hope some of you are still with me. If you are, I will try to keep it enthralling, leaving you gasping for…… You decide what you want to gasp for, I don’t think anyone else has the right to make anyone else’s gasping decisions for them. Gasping has always been and should remain a personal decision. If you so choose to gasp for more words from Seed, check back tomorrow, I think a new Question and Answer in the Ask Seed World will be posted. Don’t worry it will not be anything like today’s story, since it was written quite some time ago during a more lucid interval. I think today the gerbils that are exercising on the wheel in my brain, may be a little loopy. Thus explaining the last 3 paragraphs.
Finally we have now arrived at Zero Calories. You may think that I spend endless hours trying to come up with story ideas to write about. You may also think the endless hour total is increased dramatically by the research I do on each topic. Well my friends, in reality, everything that I write about represents things that I come across in my day-to-day journeys that either piss me off, elicit a need to make some form of positive change, crack me up, or strike me as just plain odd. As for endless hours. There is no such thing. The Grim Reaper sees to that.
A couple of weeks ago I was out with friends when we witnessed some television Spam, dressed all sexy, revealing, tantalizing and hot suggesting a new product for our consumption. This product was some refreshing beverages (basically water), that was injected with a hint of fruit flavors, in attempt to enhance the consumption pleasure. Some marketing executives felt that if they concentrated on the sapid and odorous elements of the fruit flavors, they would be able to encourage the buying public to part with a couple of dollars, in-turn the consumers would enjoy ingesting the required 8 glasses per day (8 x $2 = $16).
I am not sure why, but I was intrigued by this ad and started thinking; “Wow if I drink fruit flavored water, not only will I be satiated, but my body will become ripped and my wardrobe will improve dramatically. Not to mention I will likely be instantly transported to carefree Happy Land, much like the people in the commercial.” It’s funny, I’ve seen my share of Beer Spam, those people are pretty damn sexy too and they look like they are having a blast. Who am I supposed to believe? Beer - fruit flavored water - beer - fruit flavored water - beer - beer - gin - scotch - beer.
-----
-----
Picture is a gift from a 4 year old artist named Christian.
-----
Then it hit me. A solution to the ever expanding problem of obesity. It is so simple. I am not sure why no one has come up with this program before. We may have finally stumbled across a way to lessen the gap between the girth expanding, BMI increasing, consumption driven North Americans (China soon to follow) and the Svelte Pilates obsessed, fruit flavored water drinking Armada. THE PRICE OF FOOD SHOULD BE IN DIRECT CORRELATION TO THE NUMBER OF CALORIES. Sounds crazy doesn’t it? Just think about it for a minute, if this was the formula. Only the rich would be fat. I see the equation working sort of like this. Water = Zero Calories, therefore, water should cost $0. Whopper with Cheese Meal, roughly 1100 calories, I don’t know, for example sake, lets say, restaurants are allowed to charge 2 cents per calorie. That would make the Whopper Meal $22.00. A salad on the other hand would be in the neighborhood of $2. Of course more research would have to be done to set the prices.
Obesity amongst the poorest members of society would quickly be alleviated. The poor and homeless would be more prone to eat vegetables and drink water instead of scraping together the pittance they can gather and rushing to the local fast food joint for their sodium enriched fast food fixes. Because that is what it really is, just like drugs, a fix. I am healthy, yet I to crave the sodium and sugar that these major conglomerates hooked me up with when I was a kid. “Damn you for putting sugar on your tasty fries.”
Do you still think I am crazy? Radical I know. But if you really think about it, in a way it makes perfect sense.
*** I consider ‘Twisted Freak’ to be a term of endearment.
This story may be flavor enhanced by Euro Seed. Check back periodically.
No comments:
Post a Comment