155: day four/five
november 22/23
pep talk of the day
Fuck!
I ATE TOO MUCH TODAY.
Depressed, is about to reappear. How could I over-eat? Am I weak? Don’t I see what the end goal will deliver to me?
I hope you’re enjoying the original art!
By overeating, I mean: I was cranking the daily calorie count around the 1800 mark. Today: 1900. I’m a…
…wait a minute, a brilliant success story. I’m still under the 2600+* allowable calories to maintain my glutinous, achieved weight. Therefore, I need to cut myself a bit of slack.
While we’re talking about allowable, we need to change our inner-dialogue. Life is meant to be fucking lived!.. we’re not supposed to become slaves to life! We don’t get it… we’re all self-absorbed and the only one who notices your excessive weight, you!
We think that if we fit into a societal based ‘model’, it will bring us everything we need. Please! I'll let you in on a little secret… everyone, and I mean, everyone, in the developed world, is self-absorbed. “I,” is the only thing we understand and that is what makes us all miserable.
Not too “Peppy,” yet, is it?
The point: unless you can change your perspective on your: life, body, genital size, career… etc., turning it into: I’M DOING THIS FOR MY FUTURE AND FOR MYSELF, your not doing it for the right reason. Translation: If your life or health goals are to try to manipulate, convince, sway, attract, catch, persuade, anyone else… you’re a shallow and selfish bitch/bastard. And if someone buys into your vanity, when it slips, bye - bye manipulator. How does it feel being exchanged for a newer sleeker model?
A radical suggestion for the manipulators and their pawns: A tower, shiny glass… thrusting high into the atmosphere! When you’re hot and shallow, you get to live near the top where you can constantly with a soul-sapping fervor do whatever you must to reach the penthouse. Surgeons occupy the floors just before the pinnacle so ass (not a misspelling) to nip and tuck, cut and carve until you’ve reached a near perfect shine. Then you get to die empty ---and fucking hot! A life rich in… As your skin sags and your belly bulges, you begin to fall… you can’t attain beauty no more so the fall continues: down to floor 51... filled with quick-fixes and radical diets. Doesn’t work. Floor 25: it’s looking hopeless… you can’t function as gravity keeps pulling you down when you want to soar back to youth. You can’t. Floors 10 - 5: diet, run, obsess, exercise, Botox, more exercise, 3 calories a day, energy drinks, fuck you… I’m still hot!., more exercise, a cut, a slice, a dice on floors 5 - 1 occupied by the butchers of beauty. Saved… I’m so young and beautiful again! “Hey, why’s your face so tight? Can you smile? Where’d your forehead go? Your fake boobs, huh… they droop, too. Who knew?”
“Fuck off. I’m hot.”
Sure you are. Sure you are. Snicker. Unfortunately, those who live in the shiny glass tower… unless they figure out where beauty and substance really come from, die there.
“Pep it up, Seed!”
Okay, it is time to understand that if you’re living a marginal life, usually based upon following the flawed societal norms, you’re probably living for others (see above). However, once a light goes on and you begin to realize that there is only room for one in the mirror, you’ll stop looking. Really, in the grand scheme of things… body, health, ego… is really a solo journey. A healthy ego is a good thing. An ego that is trying to manipulate, toxic.
Nobody else is noticing you! Period. They’re too busy trying to sell themselves. Don’t believe me?
Listen, six people, max, care about you. Except for those who want to change you or the ones who don’t think you are good enough. Living up to their standards!
That brings us to today’s pep talk: When you finally get that life is better shared, but not with those who keep trying to put you down, the ones who say, “if you only lost a few pounds” “made more money” “had better fashion sense” “provided me with what I need” and finally, conclude: I’m better off being healthy --- than facing morbidity, you get it! Your body is: YOURS! And, again, your inner dialogue is fundamental in your interaction with others. So: BE GOOD TO YOURSELF!. PUNT NEGATIVITY TO THE GUTTER. It does us no good.
Our Universe, and our World, are remarkable and beautiful anomalies. Too abstract to understand. We try! We fail miserably. Gods ego sees to that. Anyway, before I’m struck down for my opinion, they’re filled with brilliant, and morally decent people, and together we can take the world into the next evolution of mankind!
Really, I believe that! FUCK GLOBAL WARMING! Buying florescent light bulbs when 4-billion people live in limiting poverty, globally, and are just trying to survive… are you really buying the commercial? Ask the Dinosaurs!?!
Oh yeah… they didn’t have the media to…
…prop up our spirits… now that you get, You, is about You, and the only way that you'll be good to anyone else is if you start taking care of yourself emotionally, physically, spiritually, with a sense of community and a desire to…
…live an amazing life. And, the only way you can do that is by talking nicely to yourself. Translation: If you keep a commitment: silently pat yourself on the back. If you don’t eat crap: again, silently pat yourself on the back. If you go to the gym, share positive thoughts, hug, kiss and love others, pat… you get it by now. Keep telling yourself that you’re amazing --- then live up to it… if you buy into your magnificence… you’ll be part of the future.
Pepping it out: I just went through one of the emotionally draining experiences of my life, traumatic and tragic. I was spinning downward to destruction. But, at the same time I was trying to “roll” with my heartache. I was failing miserably, but trying to act unaffected --- to hide the scar, the hurt. One day at work, I threw out some meaningless banter, “I did a face-recognition program website… apparently I’m a 86% match for Whoopie Goldberg!” Meaningless, yes. To which I was met with: “Michael said that you are full of useless*** information.” Michael knew what I was going through. His comments cut to my heart and hurt deeply in the moment.
Really, that’s what you guys talk about when I’m, when “we’re” not around. How did that conversation start: “That’s some useless information.”
“Yeah, I know. You know who else is full of useless information?”
Thanks. Thanks for defining friendship. You do know my Dad just came back to life and he wasn’t my Dad? Yet, you still found a way to put me down.
Anyway, my challenge to you: whether at work or play, stop participating in the bullshit, try it for a week, if someone says, “so, and so, said…” walk away and say you’re not interested. Negative talk about anyone… is fucking us all up. STOP IT!
This is where the challenge gets hard… NO MATTER WHAT!
And, at the end of the day, every time you get the urge: TELL YOURSELF THAT YOU’RE AMAZING INSTEAD!
Bye the way: The only reason I embarked on this challenge --- health = life, and I want to live for a long time!
Why?
Cause you love me!
*** 95% of information is useless… it’s important to understand that fact. If you do you won’t pretend to be so damn important.
progress report
Five days in and I’ve managed to drop to: 173.3 lbs a big silent pat on the back for me.
“Ouch.”
“Not so hard if you want silence.”
I’ve carved off an incredible 5.7 lbs in just 5 days, really only 4 as the weigh-in was the real starting point. And, I did this with eating and the consumption of beer. Translation: I kept living and scrapped the fasting idea, at least to the latter stages of this personal challenge.
I have worked diligently at the gym and have stuck to a brilliantly healthy eating plan, which is easy to do by the way. If you’d like to know something about my fitness regimen… blast me an email. You’ll find my addy somewhere on this site. I believe it is in the first 155 post.
fitness fact/tip
Usually when one realizes that they’ve girthed up and now have a belly-waving, thunder-thigh chaffing, toe-hiding, health-evicting consumption problem, they’ve been living in denial for quite some time and the last thing they see, belly, thighs, ass, is the first place they want to reduce.
If only it was that simple. It’s not. Denial has seen to that. The way we chunk-up is a slow laborious and committable process laced in savory sauces and delectable desserts. The mirror lies. Our eyes focus up... when growth is occurring down. A pound here. A pound there. No more room in the belly… where shall I go now? Some up… starting at the waist. Very little down… drooping below the ass. I’m looking good. Jaw solid. Arms tight . Biceps bulging. A little bit around the middle. Just a little. I’ll take care of it tomorrow.
Another sauce. Another pie. Burger. Fries. Burgers. Fries. Not in moderation. All you can eat. I’ll trim tomorrow.
Back at the mirror. Still hot. Hmm.. face is a bit fuller. Must be a virus. I’m retaining water. Biceps still bulging. Chest still hot. Seems like some company is coming just below my chest. Why are my pants tighter? Too much salt. That’s it. It’s causing me to bloat.
Off to a special occasion. A birthday party. A wedding. A… picture is taken capturing the moment. A copy is sent your way… fuck, that’s not me. You rush to the mirror. You scream. You turn sideways. You scream some more. You keep screaming. You turn back and face the mirror again. Fucker. You’ve been lying to me? Why? What do you mean I was focusing on the wrong place? I’ll cover you. What do you mean that won’t solve the bigger problem? Yeah, my food no longer tastes good. Burger, burger, burger, burger, fries, fries, fries, fries with cheese curds and gravy and big drinks. All bland. I’ve what… reduced food to a habit, not something to take pleasure in? My God, I’ve got ear flab! Scream relentlessly.
Come to think of it most of your extensive and expensive wardrobe has been sitting gaining fashion rust in the closet for many months now. You’ve retreated to your comfy, loose fitting jeans, and belly covering shirts. You’re mind was in on this with the mirror. Today, loose fitting has been stripped from you and soon it will be sweats. You could quit. Don’t. You’ve got too much to offer to yourself to be that weak. So, you make a commitment. Exercise… healthy eating and a return to svelte.
I’ll do 100s upon 100s of abdominal exercises and get me back in no time flat.
If only it was that easy. It’s not? No. Look in the mirror again. See the ear flab? Well, that is the last place you put it on… so it’s the first place it comes off. The crunches and sit-ups will help, only in a calorie burning sense. Who knew crunches would reduce ear flab?
Sure, they may help build a strong core, unfortunately my friends, if you’re like me, it’s no longer a spare tire, instead, it’s a stack, which means the more cluttered the belly-warehouse got, the more places a slowing metabolism looked for to place excess and before we admitted it to ourselves we’re getting unhealthy, fat.
The more weight we stack on the more every area of the body takes on. It starts with the belly, moves up, a little more for the belly, arms next, chin, another chin, more belly, some for the thighs, some ass girth, more belly, arm flab, some more for the jaw line, here you go belly… another wafer, some for the face, belly, cheeks, below the eyes, belly, belly, hair fat (not if you’re bald), belly, chin and…
… I go Cold Turkey. I want it to come off the gut first. Actually, a reduction of face fat would be nice. I’ve suddenly gotten a big head. Yuck. Bringing us to Day 4! As I’ve begun to carve the lbs away I cant help but get a little bummed out. The mirror isn’t playing along this time. 4 lbs in and I turned sideways and screamed. Where the fuck is this weight coming off from? A push on my gut… cool a wave pool. Hey wait… not so cool. This project is pointless. My food is starting to taste better, though.
Finally, Day 5, a little victory, the friends below my chest seem to be retreating. Cool, a highway crew seems to be getting ready to carve a road through the middle of my mid-section. Can’t wait. Who knew I loved the taste of spinach!?!
To answer the where’s the weight coming off from question? A thousand crunches later and a little comes off from the chin, belly, hair fat (not if your bald), belly, belly, below the eyes, cheeks, belly, some from the face…
…until you reach your ultimate goal, whatever you define as acceptable. If you want a six-pack you need to eat accordingly. If you’re okay with a little extra girth, decide how much is healthy and don’t allow anyone else to influence your definitions.
For me, I want to get into the best shape of my life. For me. I want the six-pack, I drink it, therefore, I want to carry one constantly. 155 will get me there. So I’m eating accordingly. No longer am I eating to maintain 179. I’ll let you in on a little secret: every ounce you lose lowers the amount you can eat to maintain your new lower weight. At 179: 2644 calories maintains 179. 155: only 2500. Hence, to get there I’m upping the activity and trying to stay below 2000 calories per day!
As for my gut. I avoid abdominal exercises until I’ve dropped the first 10 lbs. Why?
Because if you focus on the unachievable spot reduction, initially, it’ll have a negative effect. You’ll deposit muscle under flab and although you’ll be reducing weight, you’re gut will expand until you drop enough from it to compensate.
Don’t become another ab-frenzied fool at the gym. Unless you dump weight, a million crunches will do you little good. Sure, you’ll have a strong abdomen, how strong does your ego need it to be?.. and only till you injure yourself, but, c’mon, if you want ripped the only way is to shoot for your ideal weight. And even if you make it… you risk becoming obsessed, which will turn one or two ways, a road to the shiny tower, or re-girthing.
The peanut art above is to illustrate the importance of being aware of what you’re consuming. The picture is approximately 30 grams of peanuts equaling 180 calories. If you’re not aware one peanut fest could quickly exceed 1000 calories.
Take that Charlie Brown!
Bonus morsel:
With the festive season upon us… as important as it is to be healthy, avoid becoming too healthy. Especially if you plan to indulge, imbibe, quaff any substances that may be considered toxic. And definitely don’t do a cleanse now.
The reason: we’re all filled of toxins and if you eradicate everything bad by using a herbal cleanse, when you retox, you’ll just be inviting in a world of pain to your freshly cleansed body. A big night out will quickly turn into the most painful, life trashing, recovery.
So, cleanse after the seasonal debauchery concludes.
If you hop on the party train and enjoy the season fully, might I suggest, supplement life with Milk Thistle. It’ll help your liver survive without any side-effects. Google it!
consumed
Day four:
- B’fast: Tasty green goodness smoothie. 150
- Lunch: Toasted turkey (130 g) w/roma tomato. 410
- Juice Blueberry & Green Tea (glass). 110
- Dinner: 3 pints. 450
- Chicken Breast (200 g) 350
- Peas Grade A. 150
- Peanuts ( 30 gm.). 180
- G total for the day. 1900
Day five:
- B’fast: Tasty green goodness smoothie. 150
- Lunch: Toasted tuna sandy. 340
- ½ Arthur’s Green Energy Smoothie 115
- 2 x Peanuts ( 30 gm.). 360
- Chicken Breast (200 g) 350
- Dinner: 4 pints. 600
- Spinach Grade A. 80
- G total for the day. 1995
book update
A major literary/media agency out of the UK., requested samples of my memoir this week. A package has been sent. Wish me luck!
love is in the air
I love the road crew that is beginning to work below my chest!
financial forecast
No update! I believe prosperity is around the next corner.
randomness
Flip back to today’s pep talk.
It’s important. We need to stop berating each other. Whether it is face-to-face or behind ones back. I know it’s tough. The behavior has been ingrained in us. We need to buff it out. We can do it ---and if we do, the world will be a better place.
If you need to wean yourself off of verbal trash talk, keep one nemesis, one person that just annoys you to no end. Bitch about that person as much as you like. All the time if you need to. Keep your nemesis tight to you and give every friend constant updates on how your nemesis is destroying your life. Until the day one of your friends tells you to, “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Cause they realize if you’re verbally undressing your nemesis, they’re not immune.
And besides, that’s why we have celebrities, politicians, and athletes. They give there lives for us to shred apart.
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