Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Always Check Expiration Dates.

My life lesson of the day. Check Expiration Dates. About one week ago I was on the calorie reduced authors diet. On this one particular day I had just consumed some Thai noodles and though tasty they did not quite fill my empty stomach. The growling, knotting and gymnastics that were taking place inside of me were starting to make me feel a bit delirious. I wasn’t quite sure what to do. My cupboards were basically empty. Then I remembered that I had a jar of peanut butter. Joy filled the air. I decided that taking a big scoop out of this Peanut Butter was a good idea. It would definitely hit the spot. I took a taste and realized something was horribly amiss. Now the problem is as follows, with anything else the process of expelling the foul substance is as easy as a good spit and then some cola or tequila to wash out the offending taste. However, when PB is the offender it is not quite that simple. The aggressive spitting exercise I found myself engaged in was futile. There was no way to wash out the taste. I was going have to live with the toxic discomfort and pending consequences.

This discomfort was so foul that I would even suggest Fear Factor use this as one of the eating challenges. Trust me I would rather eat a cockroach than experience this again. The toxicity was so intense, that upon waking next day, my body had started its own self cleansing process. Let us just say it was not a pretty thing. In total, I experienced about 36 hours of suffering. The positive in my dilemma, my stomach had rarely looked so good.

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