Dumped? Get set for a new life.

Another couple of weeks have passed and another article has been published. Once again in 24 Hours Vancouver.

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Very Exciting.

Enjoy!

Dumped? Get set for new life.

Welcome to Dumpsville. Population - you!

You've been dumped for a new and improved model. However, you have decided, "to remain friends."
What good can come from being friends with someone who doesn't want you?

We have all heard the lies. "It's not you, it's me" or "My life is too complicated right now...."

Here is the skinny, my friends: your ex is trying to cover up their feelings of guilt.

When dumped, you have four choices:

1. Buy self-help books.
2. Tell your ex in many ways that you love them and want them in your life.
3. Write your ex poems expressing your undying love.*
4. Get away and start healing yourself, have some rebound sex, join a gym, learn a new language or find some other activities to fill your time. Whatever you do, you must purge yourself of your ex.

In fact, unless you have children it is best to avoid all contact. That is if you want to develop into a better and more desirable human being. This is your time: you need to get yourself together. There is a long road of recovery ahead before you will be ready for potential love in the future.

It is imperative not to jump into another relationship. Take this time and learn to like yourself. As scary as it may be, go out by yourself. You'll be amazed at the adventures freedom can offer.

Pursue your dreams. Learn to cook. Staying single is even more imperative if you have gone through life jumping from relationship to relationship. Being a "serial monogamist" isn't a skill.

If you hope that you someday will reconnect with your ex, avoiding contact becomes vital. If you planned to avoid contact for six months, make it a year. If it was true love, this might be your only way to get it back.

Face it: You broke up and it was probably for a reason (or several reasons). In all likelihood, one or both of you need to change. That is, of course, unless you want the same relationship again.

If so, may I suggest repeatedly banging your head against a wall?

I have been a case study on this topic. I was dumped and thought remaining friends was the right decision. Minus the hugs, kisses and passion. Can you imagine the torture? Of course you can, we've all been there.

Remember this, when the hammer falls on your relationship - that is usually it. It doesn't matter if the other person is making a monumental mistake. No matter how much you love someone, you can't force them to love you back.

* Ignore number 3 - it is hard enough for poets to eke out a living, so they don't need the competition from you, Mr. Lonely Pants.

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Lindsay Wincherauk is a co-author of Seed's Sketchy Relationship Theories - A Guide to the Perils of Dating (How not to become a bar regular).

For more info visit: www.seedenterprises.com

Or to purchase a copy visit http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1420800302/ref=ase_seedenterpris-20/002-1652378-3982430?v=glance&s=books where you will be able to read a selection of reviews.

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Thank You For Your Support!

We’ve Been Published Again!

Excitement is upon us again. 24 Hours Vancouver has decided that the Seed’s have something relevant to share with their readers and they published an article on the scary world of relationships in their daily paper.

Taken right from one of the Chapters in Seed’s Sketchy Relationship Theories - 24 Hours has shared with its readership the following toned down story on the ugly festering beast of infidelity entitled:

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No excuses for all that

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Infidelity: an ugly beast that most people must deal with.

Let us make something perfectly clear: nobody cheats by accident. It is never a mistake. Can you imagine? "Honey, I was walking down the street and I tripped and next thing you know I was having sex. It was an accident."

Tripping is an accident, cheating is ... CHEATING. It is that cut and dried.

Scenario 1 plays out sort of like this: you have struck up a bit of relationship with someone at work. Every day is filled with flirting. The two of you anticipate the day when you will finally get to consummate your friendship.

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One problem: She has a boyfriend. Well, it is not really a problem. You must ask yourself two simple questions: do you actually like this person and can you in all honesty imagine having a relationship with her?

If the answer is "Yes", then there is no problem at all. You have to let her know that the flirting must come to a stop.

It is not fair to her boyfriend, or for that matter, to you. As long as she is attached you will no longer partake in this behaviour. You must make this perfectly clear.

Scenario 2:

You or the love of your life has strayed for some reason and have spent some time in someone else's sandbox, toy room or whatever euphemism you choose to use for the infidelity.

Your relationship may be on the rocks. Perhaps you even truly love the person you are with. Yet due to your own dysfunctions, you feel trapped.

There are a few things that may happen. It may be a one-time thing, or something your mate stumbles across by accident.

Maybe they confront you with it because they have some hard evidence.

Or maybe someone you know, a friend, a family member or worse yet, someone who has ulterior motives, knows and informs you of it.

If you are the one doing the cheating, you soulless, spineless ... Please take a step back and realize what pain and suffering you are about to inflict.

Why are you about to do this to someone you love? A simple answer: All because of your own selfishness. If you can't keep it in your pants, then get out of your relationship.

If you are the one being cheated on, the answer is simple, but it may not be something that you want to hear.

There is almost no excuse for the disrespect and if you are to find out, you must initially leave.
That is your only option. If you don't, you will never find the respect that you deserve and maybe you don't even deserve that respect.

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For the complete unedited story visit www.seedenterprises.com