Random Sports Observations

I will get this out of the way right from the get go. My observations here are going to be sophomoric, idiotic, moronic, stupid, lacking of empirical data, not representing the top .006 of individuals in their respective professions. How dare someone claim our beloved athletes are not needed and that they are just greedy individuals with no true sense of reality?

Only someone who is old and washed up, reduced to drinking beers with his loser “old” friends at the Haney Hotel would even dare to make such ridiculous statements as the following.

Observation Number 1

Owners & Players of the NHL. Congratulations - job well done! The season is now on the verge cancellation. Who do we blame? Personally, I don’t care. I know not caring is a sign of my lack of intelligence. It must be. Surely my IQ must be in the toilet spiraling down uncontrollably not being compassionate to the plight of these individuals. To break it down further, let us take a brief look at them individually.

Owners

How dare you continue on with the oppression of the players. It is ridiculous that you expect them to survive on an average salary of 1.8 million a year. They add so much to North American culture after-all. In fact, in a large portion of the States they rank below Women’s Bowling in popularity. Sure athletes in a major league sport of such magnitude deserves to be paid at such an astronomical levels. Shame on you for shutting down a business that is so profitable that you can afford the losses just to make a point. You are no better than the McDonald’s outside of Squamish, British Columbia that choose to close down when a union was put in place to avoid closing down in the future when it could not sustain its existence.

Players

You win. You have shown your tremendous resolve. Your solidarity. Kudos to you. You have avoided the salary cap. You have had to live on your union pay of $5,000 - $10,ooo per month. How do you do it? It appears that a large portion of you have gone to Europe and taken jobs from players who cannot play at your elite level. Others are playing in what are basically beer leagues for teams such as The Motor City Mechanics for a pittance of $500 per week. Good work, you now are up to between $7,000 - $12,000 per month. Way-to-go you have avoided the soup lines. Who cares if you have put marginal players out of jobs. “If they don’t want to lose their jobs they should be as good as us.” It has been fantastic what you have done for the future generations of players, your willingness to forgo a season or two will surely result in the owners caving and giving you unlimited incomes in the future. Hell - who needs fans? The owners have deep never ending pockets and your resolve will eventually show that reality.

To carry it a step further, once the new NHL re-surfaces, you surely will be able to recoup the lost income from the lost “seasons”. You wouldn’t have missed that equation with all of the Mensa members in the Players Association. What’s that - 4 teams have folded. Fortunately the remaining teams have decided to make up for the lost jobs by increasing their rosters accordingly. Wouldn’t want any of the .006% of needed oppressed athletes to be out of work. It is a good thing that the upper-echelon athletes of the sport are looking out for their lesser peers.

So in conclusion. Congratulations players, you have truly taken the game back. You have won the battle.

……to be continued in the Fall of 2005.

Observation Number 2

Jose Cansceco’s new controversial book has just been released. "Juiced." How exciting. Here is my take on the whole book.

“I did roids with him, him, him and him. I helped him to do his injections. This one guy, I used to get in his car and we would meet a guy in a parking lot, he would hand us the stuff and we would give him cash. It was always cash for the goods. That is the way this business works. Sometimes I would get mad and smash things. After a few cycles on the juice I found I could hit the ball further. The juice isn’t really bad for you, if you know what you are doing. It is a vicious cycle - rampant in our sport. I feel I was a scapegoat for the whole league. It wasn’t fair. Oh my god books are long.”

Throw in some other random shit. Perhaps a failed relationship or two.

-The End-

And now for some intelligence from the NHL players and a Player Rep - Brian McCabe of the Toronto Maple Leafs

The following is verbatim.

Interviewer:

"Brian how are you going to get the lost money back?"

Brian:

"It is not about the money. It is about getting the game back on the ice. Not one player cares about the money. We could all care less about the money. We just want a healthy product on the ice."

Interviewer:

"Come on that is all it is about?"

Brian:

(Changes Topic) "We don't appreciate the idle threats by the league."

Apparently the threats weren't idle.

Let us see what the players earn when they come out the other end.

Good Work Boys.

-The End #2-

Cheers

Seed.
Author Seed’s Sketchy Relationship Theories
A Guide to the Perils of Dating
(How not to become a bar regular)

www.seedenterprises.com

Seed's Life 6-10

This Seed guy must be serious about this whole blogging thing. It is now week 2 and he has just posted 5 more points revealing aspects of his life. Most people would have only lasted a day. “Hey punk get out of here. This is my blog”. Of course I am serious, actually serious is the wrong choice of words. We are trying to build an empire here and part of the construction process is to make it relatable to others and to do so we have decided sharing parts of our lives was an excellent way. So here we go with 6-10 in an never ending series.

Seed’s Life.(Points 6-10)

_________

...a star in the making?

1. I loved putting on the first Planting the Seed Night. The high of hearing everyone laugh at something you have just said or read is indescribable. Hopefully what people laughed at was supposed to be funny. I think I am a natural performer, yet, I am somewhat terrified of the performance. This year I am going to break thru that. I must. I have told a few of my good friends from Point 5 that they could join my gravy train. People are counting on me.
2. I have a cat. I think her name is Fuzzy. I have had her for 14 years now. Didn’t want her. She was saved off of the roof of a dive hotel I was running. The maintenance man put her in my office, she was two weeks old. Some junkies put her on the roof. Somehow she has decided to survive the last fourteen years. She has grown on me. I really love her. She may be the coolest cat ever. She used to upset my friend and roommate Rick by hanging off of his stereo speakers. She seemed to enjoy it. He didn’t. He loved her though anyway. She actually has several names, my friend Scott calls her Fluffy, however, Scott is pretty relaxed, he tends to eat a lot of Doritos, I don’t think it is the Doritos that relax him, but instead what makes him crave the Doritos that does. Hmmm Doritos. Someone who has become one of my best friends in a short time period is this fantastic guy named Nick. He is from Thailand. Big, big heart. He has actually saved me from being a starving author. In fact he probably has fed me over 100 times now. No conditions. No expectations. I am fortunate to know him. When he visits he calls my cat Puffy. Puffy has found her soul mate in him. She spends every second she can with him. I am glad she likes someone. By the way she doesn’t answer to any of her names.
3. I need to grab a flip chart for this point. I was the youngest of 7 kids. 3 older brothers and sisters. I also had 4 nieces and 1 nephew. That all changed in an instant. I all of a sudden became the product of a single mother and an only child. That lasted for 6 months. The next thing I knew was I was still the product of a single mother, but my father had 2 sons. Both younger than me, so I guess I am the oldest of 3. Wait, that would be too simple. My mother had a daughter several years after I was born. I guess I am the oldest of 4. My longest girlfriend was adopted, please, please, please don’t let her be my sister. I already need counseling. Could you imagine.
4. My work. I mentioned it above. I am now a writer and an entrepreneur. I guess I have always been. I just wasn’t willing to accept it. I haven’t earned a paycheck in over a year now. Exciting news though, me and my co-author have our first royalty check coming sometime in the next month. Lets cross our fingers. If it isn’t enough, I may have to milk cats or masturbate on tour groups for cash.
5. I once walked out naked into a downstairs family room filled with people watching Survivor or something. The mother, father and their 3 children. I was dating a flight attendant at the time and thought the whole basement of the place she was renting was hers. It wasn’t. I was looking for the washroom. I put on a good performance. I casually leaned on the back of the couch and calmly asked “What are you watching”. the answer was Survivor. I helped her move a few weeks later.

Check back in a week for points 11-15. By the way I highly recommend this exercise to each and every one of you, it may help you to unlock the doors to the future. See you soon!!!

Check The Archives For Previous Installments of Seed's Life.

Visual Seed & A Seedism

It’s Sunday Night, February 13th, love is in the air. After-all it is Valentines Day Tomorrow. As promised in our blogging schedule here is our first Seed Visual. Seed Visuals are original images from the eyes of those involved in Seed Enterprises. We hope you all enjoy. We are not going to stop there, we are also going to provide you with “Something Seed Once Said”, which we like to call Seedisms. Enjoy and have yourself a fantastic week!

.

“when it is true love
temptation no longer exists"

-the seed

Seed's Life 1-5

Hello loyal readers. Today represents the start of a new weekly feature to Seed’s & Euro Seed’s Brain Candy. The feature is Seed’s Life - A Collection of Random Thoughts and Observations. This experiment started out as a journey of self discovery. I figured it was time to get to know myself a little bit better. Find out what makes me tick. Find out how I have gotten to where I am today and perhaps give me an understanding of what the future may have in store.

It also gives me an opportunity to clear my mind. Free up some space to allow some exciting new fresh perspectives. Each week I will be distributing 5 of these gems for your enjoyment. Some of these snippets are extremely personal, some of them you may find funny, but most importantly I hope you enjoy. So without any further hesitation I give you the first 5 of the never ending story of

Seed’s Life.
(Points 1-5)

1. I am right handed.
2. I was not given a middle name. I guess Lindsay followed by the alphabet was enough. It was going to be Wayne. I am happy it was not. No offence Wayne. I have told my friends that we were too poor to afford a middle name for me.
3. I eat way too much fast food. I am addicted to McDonalds and sometimes go to Burger King as well. I love to watch the Newspaper vultures circle. If you have ever read the paper at a fast food joint you know what I am talking about. I am not sure how I have maintained an excellent level of fitness due to this addiction. I guess I do know. I work my ass off. Next week I am going to kick the junk addiction. Of course - I said that last week as well. Fuck - it is 2:15. What am I going to eat? Want to grab a burger?
4. I have discovered my passion in life. Creating things. I enjoy writing and photography. I love trying to come up with new ideas and images. It is an absolutely wicked adventure discovering and cultivating this talent. If it is actually a talent. Actually I know it is. Now the key is to make a living at it. For those who support me. I love you. I really do. To those who have turned your backs. Hopefully, one day you evolve. Part of the evolution can start with the purchase of my first book.
5. Self discovery is a hoot. I have learned so much about myself in the last 5 years. I am still struggling. Money has never really beaten a path to my door. Perhaps some of my insecurity has instilled a large dose of the fear of success. Most people don’t get it. I know I don’t. I am starting to understand what is holding me back now. As much as self discovery is a hoot, it is a very scary place at the same time. A place of solitude. It has to be, after all it is called self discovery. Point 5 was going to be about my friends. They seem to change from time to time, but always remain the same in the long run. My best friends are, well I am not going to name them here, you know who you are. At least I think you do.
   

Check back in a week for points 6-10. By the way I highly recommend this exercise to each and every one of you, it may help you to unlock the doors to the future. See you soon!!!

CNN Study of the Day

CNN Study Of The Day

Being an author and entrepreneur my days consist of sending out press releases to as many people as possible announcing the release of my first book Seed’s Sketchy Relationship Theories - A Guide to the Perils of Dating. Since me and my co-author do not have the backing of a major publishing house the marketing responsibilities fall directly on our shoulders. To ease the mental pain of the task I often have CNN on in the background for company.

Everyday CNN has a hoard of experts on to discuss such things as new diets, new fitness programs, new ……, well you get the drift, they have experts on virtually every topic spread their wisdom to the populace. I have noticed that quite often these experts are not really telling us anything that we don’t already know. It makes me wonder who funds the studies? So in that vein I am going to try to post the CNN Study of the Day or perhaps I will call it Mr. Obvious. Here it is today’s Study, please feel free to draw your own conclusions.

“Heavy pot smokers may have problems with memory.”

-------

There you have it right from the media giant CNN. Stay tuned hopefully tomorrow I will be able to bring you a fresh helping of knowledge.

Always Check Expiration Dates.

My life lesson of the day. Check Expiration Dates. About one week ago I was on the calorie reduced authors diet. On this one particular day I had just consumed some Thai noodles and though tasty they did not quite fill my empty stomach. The growling, knotting and gymnastics that were taking place inside of me were starting to make me feel a bit delirious. I wasn’t quite sure what to do. My cupboards were basically empty. Then I remembered that I had a jar of peanut butter. Joy filled the air. I decided that taking a big scoop out of this Peanut Butter was a good idea. It would definitely hit the spot. I took a taste and realized something was horribly amiss. Now the problem is as follows, with anything else the process of expelling the foul substance is as easy as a good spit and then some cola or tequila to wash out the offending taste. However, when PB is the offender it is not quite that simple. The aggressive spitting exercise I found myself engaged in was futile. There was no way to wash out the taste. I was going have to live with the toxic discomfort and pending consequences.

This discomfort was so foul that I would even suggest Fear Factor use this as one of the eating challenges. Trust me I would rather eat a cockroach than experience this again. The toxicity was so intense, that upon waking next day, my body had started its own self cleansing process. Let us just say it was not a pretty thing. In total, I experienced about 36 hours of suffering. The positive in my dilemma, my stomach had rarely looked so good.